The communal head guard was always too tight. The gum shield always dug in a little on one side. The ring was small and the shallow vaulted ceiling narrowed the space above still further. I sat on the ring apron, sweat flooding from every pore. In the ring a 17-year-old with a mop of blond hair and pale blue eyes was dancing, feet sliding effortlessly across the canvas as my fellow 30-something plodded toward him. Two minute rounds that lasted a week inside the ropes, a handful of breaths on the outside, ticked past.
The youngster was talented. A natural. Quick, elusive and brave, he punched harder than a Lightweight should too. I was the bigger man, I mumbled in the torment of knowing I had to get back in when the two minutes ended and the minute’s rest the kid didn’t need was up. His quarry’s nose sprang a bloody leak and brought an early close to my wait. Most of the time I’d spent on that apron I’d contemplated how I could get out of this position with pride in tact. Or whether I really cared about my pride. A childhood spent avoiding fights had brought me to this place twenty years on. I’d smirked at the swell of dread, tasted its familiarity. A nervous response to the absurdity of being where I was. As the other victim climbed down, bright red ribbons running into his mouth the colour correspondingly drained from my face.
Continue reading “I don’t want to be here. Sunny Edwards and the kid with the pale blue eyes”







